His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
