Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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