dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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