Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
