no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We had to coat check the pizza.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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