So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
