i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
