I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
