I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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