I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
