Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you didnt know i had herpes?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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