Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
