i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize