if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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