You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
