it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
