yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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