Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I should be sponsored by Trojan
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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