I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
