watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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