I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
