He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
