we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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