I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
