So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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