My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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