there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
