i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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