my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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