If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Blood and glitter go together right?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
