oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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