why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
