JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
