Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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