Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
