2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
How's work?
Spinning.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
