How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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