Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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