Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she smelled like a LAN party
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
