My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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