My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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