Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
