i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize