he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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