pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
