Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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