it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize