Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
