last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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