So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
