is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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