I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
