coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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