Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
false alarm. still invincible.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize