they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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