I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Randomize
