Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
