it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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