My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
