So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
