we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
