Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
