I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
