using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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