Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
