Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize