i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm sobbing to NWA
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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