So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
