Christians are straight up FREAKS
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
