He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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