At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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