dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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