they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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