god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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