I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
As shirtless as possible
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
