But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
