They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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