I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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