You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
