i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Hippo gnu deer
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
