I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
