college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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