Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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