Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
